I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize