His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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