names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
