Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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