So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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