I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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