Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
