I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
