Dual....:-)
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
