bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
