That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
