Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
