What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
