In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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