it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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