some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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