Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
