I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Randomize
