They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
