I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
