i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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