I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house