Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
