you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
