somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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