The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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