The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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