I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
that is very illegal...i love you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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