so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
