On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
