I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
