Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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