it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
