the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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