i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize