btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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