Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
