Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
