a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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