No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
