You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
