Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
