it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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