Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
