Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
