i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
