i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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