I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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