Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
