We won't sleep together?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Houston, we have a blender
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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