I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
