I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
