So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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