i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
